Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
i need some magic done to my vagina
I think I just sharted jello shots
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