How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
