so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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