Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
God I need to hump something, right now.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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