Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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