Kiss
Puke
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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