Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
