i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
