another moral hangover. fuck.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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