last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
