Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
