The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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