Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
