Fine. I'll sleep in my office
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
We are two peas in an std pod
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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