So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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