i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
