literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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