Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
