Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
