he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
