But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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