New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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