I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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