can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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