I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
