how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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