i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
