No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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