It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
