got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
