I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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