i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
