he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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