when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
