the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
