So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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