He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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