It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
