why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
