I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
