Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We left an ass print on the piano.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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