That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
