Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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