Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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