And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
