Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
