VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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