I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
