nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
