I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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